Self-sabotage: the term seems completely counter intuitive, yet it is one of the most common reasons why people fail. Why would anyone want to hinder their ability to succeed? Why would anyone consciously or unconsciously interfere with their own growth, or get in their own way of achieving and attaining something they allegedly want? Here’s some questions to ask yourself or someone else when you think that you or they may be self-sabotaging:

1. How do you think this situation is going to turn out if you continue to act exactly as you are now?

2. What makes you want to be successful in this area? How does success in this area reflect your values?

3. What makes you believe that you deserve to succeed?

4. What makes you believe that you don’t deserve to succeed?

5. Do you think you have the skills to be successful in this area? If not, what do you need more of?

6. What do you have to lose?

7. What do you stand to gain?

8. What are the some of the consequences of success? How will your life change for the better?

9. What are some of the unintended consequences of success? How will your life change in less beneficial ways?

10. What if you do everything right, and you pursue this objective with everything needed to achieve success, and it doesn’t turn out the way you hoped?

11. How have you historically handled success?

12. How have you historically handled failure?

13. What are the consequences of not trying?

This isn’t a comprehensive list, but at the very least, asking questions along these lines may help us understand the thing or things that are directing or “motivating” self-sabotage behavior.

Ask away.